Trust me, I’m a professional :) When you have stye but can’t call in sick remember the following:
1. Don’t panic. When you panic, you waste lots of time. Don’t maul over the fact that you look like Quasimodo’s bride. Take a deep breathe and examine your stye.
2. Wash your face and cleanse your eye/s (hopefully you only have one) with artificial tears. I recommend two to three drops of Tobramycin.
3. Boil water and make yourself a cup of tea and place the hot compress on the affected eye for about 15 minutes. Leaving it there for longer will burn your skin, seriously.
4. LOTS AND LOTS OF BETNOVATE to reduce the swelling. Let dry for two to three minutes.
5. DO NOT PUT ON MAKE-UP, well at least not that much. It will only aggravate the infection. Daub on concealer around the eye area especially under your peepers. I recommend YSL Touche Eclat—its magic in a stick!
6. Don’t leave the house just yet; you don’t want to frolic in the city looking like a corpse. Stain your kisser with some rouge or coral.
7. Play up your wardrobe. Create a focal point. It could be a fancy old brooch or a satin bow or a string of pearls.
8. Wear shades. The bigger the better, seriously. Think old Hollywood glamour a la Audrey Hepburn’s character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Wear only until after midday. For extreme conditions and the bold fashionista, wear a silk eye patch. Preferably black and elegant.
9. Let your hair down and put a sassy hat on. Once ready, make a quick stop to the drug store and buy a tube of Fusidic Acid (Fucithalmic). Put one to two drops over the hordeolum and massage gently. Use ring finger to apply just the right amount of pressure.
10. Get your butt to work and talk to your boss. Show him your eye condition (twitch a bit to look convincing) and ask to leave work early to see a doctor. Promise to finish most of the work by midday.
11. For the socialite, attend diplomatic engagements for the day and make a French exit.
12. SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY.
1 comment:
hahaha spoken (written) like a true pro! *applause*
*tony ninja jump*
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